Mother’s Day

6 May

Although I am a mother myself I always think of my own mother on Mother’s Day. Somehow it has and always be her day and not mine. This coming Saturday is the first Mother’s Day since my mom passed away and as you can imagine she has been on my heart a great deal lately. Most days I am fine as I move through the daily routine of life, but sometimes in the small moments I find myself very sad. I have opened myself up to the grief…let it come and wash over me. Thankfully, it surrenders just as it overwhelms and I am able to walk on through the days.

I think what makes me miss my mother so much in this season is I feel like she was just becoming the mother she always wanted to be. As some of you know my own relationship with my mother was complicated but I have always loved and respected her. She was raised in home where love and kindness were expressed by providing the practical needs for a child, not by hugs and kisses. I know my mother worked hard to overcome her own austere beginnings but I don’t think she was every really able to express all the love she felt until my daughter Cavender was born. As a grandmother my mom fully was able to abandon herself in her relationship with her granddaughter. It was beautiful to watch and has changed my heart forever. I hope Cavender will remember the time she had with Grammie. Even if her mind looses some of the memories I know her heart will always be filled by that special love.


2 Responses to “Mother’s Day”

  1. Kelly Lawson May 6, 2009 at 7:47 pm #

    I was just thinking about you and this being your first Mother’s Day without Mom– praying that God holds you close.

  2. Dan May 6, 2009 at 7:59 pm #

    I think Cavender will remember the love of grammie. My grandfather died when I was young and though I only have a few solid memories of him, I have this impression of a loving, playful man- mostly with a smile that I saw and still see in pictures.Grace on you this weekend as I know it won’t be easy!

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